Judy - My heart is brimming with love for you and your beautiful family. As long as I live I will never forget the grace with which every single member of your family has opened their hearts to share you with your formidable fan club during your final days. My very favorite example of this was when, as usual, your room was full with visitors, the nurse began waving people out of the room claiming the energy was 'agitating' you. Your sweet Trace ran down the hall to get Drew. Drew kindly, calmly (but firmly), told the nurse, "Listen, this is how Judy likes her rooms, busy and full of life. If there is anything that agitates her its being alone in silence". It is absolutely no surprise to me that your family, who would have had every right to “keep you to themselves” has, instead, gone above and beyond to create the perfect send off for you. Jill said today, “you may be gone physically but your spirit has never been more alive”. More true words have never been spoken. Judy – I feel so incredibly blessed to have spent so much time with you, especially in the last 2 years. Our trip to New York City, just the two of us, was a gift beyond measure. The ridiculously bad show we saw but loved anyway because we both hated it together, the strange “Once groupies” we met who left us truly scratching our heads, the BIZARRE waiter presumptuously ordering for me and then bringing us the cookies, STILL ON THE TRAY, to “win back our favor” but, in fact, left us thinking perhaps he had been drinking on the job, the ENDLESS energy with which you “attacked” NYC (a place we mutually SO loved) despite your illness – never ONCE complaining but always striking the perfect balance between digging deep to do all you wanted to do but always letting me know when you’d reached your limit. Of course, my favorite part of the trip was the ENDLESS hours of conversation talking about everything there is to talk about. What stands out in my memory is the conversation we had about your legacy; your impact and how all this will play out after you are gone. I remember reassuring you that what you have given the world has made a lasting impact. I remember telling you how lucky you were - that no woman could ask for a better father for her children (and you agreed). But what has played on repeat in my brain for the past two weeks is how I wish I had been more specific. I thought I had said all there was to say, but I find myself wishing I had said MORE. JUDY --- how I wish I had told you, in very specific terms, what an incredible and beautiful example you have been to me on how to live the best version of your life. I wish I had told you how even my children know this about you. I wish I could have told you then what I know now with every fiber of my being --- that this strong and joyful legacy you have left your children to always push to live the best version of your life, coupled with the incredible, no – MAGNIFECENT – support of your family unit will be an unstoppable and winning combination to guide your Reese and Trace with the love and blue sky expectations you have for them. Your life may have been short but there was an undeniable FORCE to it which all those lucky enough to have known you will feel forever. I wish I had reminded you of the quote from Maya Angelou, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. Of all your many gifts Judy, this is your greatest of all. Everyone who has written on this wall remembers how you made them feel and THAT is why I wish I had been a million times more forceful when I told you not to worry. All of us – but most importantly your beautiful children -- will remember how you made them feel and that, along with all the love and support of family and good friends, will guide them faithfully along the path you imagined for them. And so, my friend, my fellow “rainmaker” whose spirit is so familiar to me, I leave you with the poem I shared with you once because it so reminds me of you – and now I share with your children.
The Summer Day
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver
